[How to love yourself when you kinda sorta ummm..hate yourself?]
Self hate can really stop us from seeing ourselves in a positive light. “Love yourself? Like duh. I’m trying to ‘love myself’ but how can i when i there are so many things about myself that i hate. Tell me howwww! 😭”
There was a time i was in a pit of self hatred and at that time too there were songs telling me to love myself. I felt like punching those people because they’re not helpful. They’re just pretentious people thinking it’s all about loving my body, face and accepting myself.
It’s not all that romantic. It’s not my physical. It’s my habits, the things i say, the way things come out of my mouth before i think about it properly, the way my face shows my emotions so transparently, etc etc.
So after struggling with this for *too long*, i just stopped looking around and START. Just start. Told myself to shut up and write. I made a list of things i love and hate about myself and of course, i was impressed by my powerful negative vocab and the list went sooooo much longer than things i love about me.
Got me questioning how come i can’t think of the opposite of “mengada”? What is opposite of “hopeless”? Takkan la ‘hopeful’. It doesn’t make sense: i’m a hopeful person. 🤷🏻♀️
Ok so then after making the list, i decided to start changing. Start with something controllable. Sikit sikit dulu, pastu bila dah gain confidence, then work on the hard ones like how we react, change of perspective, being positive etc. these kind of habits require a lot of self awareness, so have to pay attention and just try and try again bila terbuat balik perangai bahalol tu.
It can take a short time, or maybe years. But switch that mindset from “i despise myself” to “ok so i hate this about myself so jom berubah!”. Small changes is better than no change at all.
Let’s not put a ‘full stop’ to things that limit us 💪🏼 inshaAllah, after a while, instead of feeling like you can’t love yourself, you will feel grateful for being where you are now (logistically), for the people around you, the rezeki you’re getting, and more. And with gratitude, comes great love and appreciation to life. And therefore -